Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Me: Man, I gotta clean this messy house.
Her: Well, I’ll help you, honey. Just tell me what you need me to do.
Later, she remembered my word.
“He has a mess back here,” she said, referring to Jerry’s junk pile.
I’m scared to let her go into my bedroom in case she’ll see I didn’t make my bed. That’s the first thing she always did when she got out of bed. She made my bed every day until I was in high school. Sometimes when I get up, she’s sitting on her bed waiting for me, her bed already made.
She’s taking more initiative to take care of herself. She likes to go in the bathroom now and use the toilet that flushes instead of her potty chair. When I started cooking dinner, she pushed herself into the kitchen and asked me, “How can I help you, honey?”
I started to say, “It’s OK,” then thought I’d give it a try. “Here, you can put up the clean silverware. With every single utensil, she asked, “Here? Here? Here?” Same with the glasses. I handed her the dishcloth, and she started mopping off the countertop then went to the sink and started washing the bowl and spoon and glass in the sink.
“Thank you so much! You were a big help!”
A smile!
Friday, October 10, 2010
“I just don’t know who… I just don’t know. I just don’t know.”
I hug her. “It’s OK. We’re taking good care of you.” I kiss her on the cheek.
She looks at me. “I think I know you.”
“I’m Janis, your little girl. Sweetiepie.”
“If it’s you—a long time.”
“Yes, you’ve known me a long time.”
“Oh, my my my my my.”
Oh my, I feel for Grandma so much. You have no idea how much some of this reminds me of being post ictal. I know how terrifying it can be (albeit my experiences are thankfully for a short span of time) to know that you know someone, or should know them, but can't find them in your brain. It's so scary and frustrating. I've been so bad I haven't known my own name before. It's a terrible place to be. Oh, I wish I could just hug her!
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